Updated: Jan 4
What do I need to do today to feel good?
This one simple question has made an extraordinary impact on my life this year. Having lost my life partner in February, I have every right to be bitter, angry, resentful, and depressed. And sure, I do feel those emotions from time to time, but I make a conscious decision daily not to be a victim of my circumstance, to choose a better path in my life, and to do what I need to do to make that happen. This article is a summary of what I have come to understand. Enjoy!
The only thing in between you and everything you want in life is the choices you make.
For example, it is within the realm of possibility, that everyone who reads this article can go forth with their lives, making a series of choices that will lead them to become a billionaire.
Of course, most of us, when hearing that will respond with “yeah right, not me.” I’m too old, I’m not smart enough, I don’t have the energy, etc. Resistance, resistance, resistance. In reality, you could make a choice to buy a lottery ticket, make a series of choices with the numbers you select, and win the next day. It could be as easy as that to become a billionaire. It wouldn’t take any work, any time, any stress. Just a series of choices that align with what you want, in this case, a billion big ones.
“Yeah, but the odds…” More resistance. Which is why most, probably all of us, are not billionaires.
This is a rather extreme example, but so many of us do the same kind of resistant thinking with everything in our life. Since childhood, we were taught that anything we want in life takes effort and stress to achieve. Grind, work harder, and even still, the odds are against you to get everything you want in life.
I am a prime example of this. At my business, I spent nearly a decade grinding. Blood, sweat, and tears are an understatement. A few years ago, Karina introduced to me this concept that I resisted even harder than you probably resisted the thought of becoming a billionaire.
She told me to stop working so hard and enjoy life more. She told me that if I got into alignment, success would come with ease. It is not about working harder, or even working smarter, it is about being aligned and inspired. In alignment with Spirit there is no resistance, your choices will be inspired and will bring you what you want.
When Karina first shared with me, I resisted it hard. So hard. We had arguments over it. I would say, “I’m doing everything I can just to stay afloat. If I worked less, everything would fall apart.” She disagreed, frustrated by my inability to understand a truth that she knew and embodied. So she showed me, over and over. Where I saw risk and worried, she trusted, relaxed, and found joy. Even in her final moments in her body, when she was suffering immense physical discomfort, she trusted, loved, and smiled.
Well, life, as it goes, teaches you the things you need. Since Karina’s passing, not only have I come to understand this concept, I felt it transform my life over the course of this year. A year ago, I would wake up and my first thought was, “how much can I get done today?” Now, I wake up and ask myself “what do I need to do to feel good and get into alignment today?”
The outcome of this shift has been dramatic. In the past, no matter how productive I was in a day, there was always more to do. It is a never-ending treadmill of tasks. In reality, not everything needed to be done that day, or even at all. When I think of the thousands of things I crossed off my checklists over the years, a huge portion of those things were really unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. Had I reprioritized my time to get into alignment and do only the things I was inspired to do, I may have found greater success, much sooner, and with less stress.
The Law of Attraction, I have seen and experienced it to work like so:
Define what it is you want.
Get into alignment as you let go of resistance.
Express the emotion as if you already have it.
Let go of expectation of how and when it will arrive.
Allow the thing to come into your life with ease.
Enjoy the unfolding of the process with excitement.
None of these steps can be skipped. Doing so will lead to spiritual bypassing and ultimately the dismissal of the validity of this truth.
It may be as easy as having it fall on your lap, or it may come in the form of inspired thought that leads to inspired action that leads to receiving. An important aspect of this process is to let go of any notion of how you will receive and find a sense of excitement in watching it all unfold.
Unfortunately, the truth of this process is in opposition to what many of us believe will make us happy. We want the results and not the process. We’ll be happy when we get the money, or the relationship, or the car, or the fame, or whatever.
The trick to the Law of Attraction, which has been reiterated by many teachers of different faiths, backgrounds, and belief systems, is that the alignment of thought and feeling is essential to draw something into your life.
Ultimately, you don’t want a thing, you want an emotion. You don’t want money, you want to feel free, secure, powerful, and capable. You don’t want a partner, you want to feel loved, joy, and companionship. You don’t want a good job, you want to feel fulfilled, important, and validated.
Instead of asking for these things in order to feel this way, the work is to feel this way and allow these things to come into your life. If I want a partner, my work is not to go out and meet as many women as possible and hope one of them will love me, hinging my happiness on if and when someone does. My work is to love myself, find security in myself, and enjoy the cosmic play as I allow potential partners to come into my life.
These are all conscious decisions that I make every day. I ask, “What do I want? What do I need to give myself today to feel good? I can’t wait to see how things are going to work out for me today”
And it works. Every time. Of course, there are some days when I have negative emotions that I need to work through, understand, process, and release. Meditation, journaling, exercise, and therapy are great ways for me to do this, though there are countless other methods as well. And then I come back to this process.
Ultimately, it comes down to how we choose to live our lives. We have the power to live the life that we want to live. It is just a series of choices. Outside of our own choices, we have no power to control the world around us.
In my life, the two most important women to me, my mother and life partner, were taken away and there was nothing I could do about it, no matter how hard I tried. What I can do is decide how to move forward with my life. I can choose to be happy. To use this experience for good. To find new love. To make a bigger impact. To find more joy. It’s my choice, and I am choosing to be happy.
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