This message came to me in a deep meditation as I dug into my core being to dig out and process some emotions that I've held deep. From the loss of my beloved fiancee and mother to challenges of my upbringing to generational trauma, there was a lot to feel through. Afterward, this article poured through me. It is as much for me as it is for you, and I hope it can provide the same level of peace as it did for me writing it.
As another year comes to a close, I am reminded of how extraordinary this life experience has been. Never before has our lifestyle evolved so rapidly in only one lifetime. I remember when email just became available, and now we have social media celebrities, dating apps, and artificial intelligence. New technologies changing the way we live and relate with ourselves and our communities at an increasingly rapid pace, it is nearly impossible to understand the implications.
The world is speeding up, and much like a frog in water being slowly brought to a boil, we don’t often notice the subtle changes in our life experiences. But we feel it. It comes in anxiety, in impatience, in fatigue, in feeling unworthy, in disconnection from the moment, from nature and other humans, and confusion in the purpose of what we are meant to do here.
We are tired, frustrated, trying to catch up, but the world keeps evolving faster than we can handle it.
We often place blame on external events, the violence around the world, the increased costs of living, the negative impact of social media, our unfulfilling job, the lack of suitable partners, etc., but I believe the crisis is truly inwards. It has been a global forgetting of what we truly are because we've been distracted by the speed of what is going on around us. And it is only in those moments of remembrance and inward connection that we touch the peace that we came here with.
I’ve suffered a lot in my 36 years here. Less than many others have, but enough to know that what is outside of me is beyond my control, and any attempt to try will only amount to frustration, anger, depression, and a sense of powerlessness.
In the healing journey from losing my beloved fiancee nearly two years ago, I have, and continue to face, the range of emotions on the human spectrum. And I’ve learned, as unpleasant as it is sometimes, that feeling is the gift of the universe. It is the tool that brings me back to remembering what is true.
To feel what we feel allows us to release and come back to truth, which is, that we are all an expression of Love. Love is, inherently, the recognition of myself in you, and you in me, and the embodied feeling that we are all truly one. It is easy to say, but for some (like me), it took going to the depths of despair and climbing back out again to truly feel it. This life is a process of remembering what we knew before we came, and it all comes through feeling.
However, it is so easy to forget. In a moment, I can read one email, see one post on social media, overhear one conversation, and get sucked into this false perception of what is true. The illusion, the ill-lusion, of the world is the mindset that we are separate. Separate from one another. Separate from nature. Separate from the Earth. Separate from the universe. That some people are worse than others, that there is an “us” who is more worthy than a “them.” That some people are wrong for making the decisions they make. That those who live differently than we do, are lesser than us.
And the more focus I give these thoughts, the more fears and anxieties build up in my body, until I release and remember.
Ultimately, everything is made up of the same stuff in different patterns. The atoms that make up my body are no better or worse than the atoms that make up yours, or your neighbor, or the car on the street, or the air that swirls between you and me. It is all the same stuff, in different patterns. We are all walking around in a field of energy, constantly mixing with everything around us.
That is why we feel so good in nature. Because nature lives in a state of non-resistance. The apple tree is not in a state of stress over how many apples it produces, how tall it grows, how green the leaves are. It doesn't worry if it produces more apples than the other apple tree nearby, or if apples are better than the lemons from the other tree. It just does what it came here to do, to grow apples, as many as it feels natural to do. The apple tree lives its life, and then one day returns to the soil, to become organic matter for the next generation. There is no pain or stress or anger or jealousy or fear. It just is.
And we just are too, but we forget. We are told to stay young, to produce, produce, produce, to find love and write it in a contract so we can control it, to buy a house and put up a fence so that everyone knows this is our space and you aren’t allowed, to listen to news because an uninformed citizen is a bad citizen, to stay afraid and stay greedy, to stay quiet and stay safe, to listen to what you’re told, and to fear death with your life.
This is what society taught me. This is what I believed for a long, long time. But all of these things are just made up by people, scared people, who think they can control things that can’t be controlled. Love is unlimited, death is beautiful, resources can be shared, aging is a gift, and it is okay to produce as much as you want without stressing about it. The world doesn’t need more things. The world needs more stillness. The world needs more togetherness. The world needs quiet connection.
We need to slow down and remember. Remember the beauty of this life, that each day is a blessing. Each snuggle with my pup, each kiss from my partner, each bite of food, each ray of sun, each step in the sand, each breath of fresh air, these are blessings of our life. I didn't realize that until I saw each of these stripped away from my beloved Karina, never to be experienced again. Life is impermanent, fragile, the veil is thin and we are closer to the other side than we think. I have lived this lesson intimately, multiple times. And, unless you go first, we all will experience it, so let’s enjoy the time we have, and not take things so seriously.
We are just a blip on the map in the scheme of life on Earth. Billions of years have passed on this planet without us. And one day, just as sure as you, me, and everyone we know will die someday, the Earth will too. And the matter that formed the patterns to give us this beautiful planet will be redistributed into the universe in whatever way that occurs.
If you took the time to read this, thank you. I hope that you, as you transition into the new year full of infinite possibilities, remember who you truly are. You can be rich or poor, single or married, healthy or sick, but each breath you get to take is a blessing, a gift, that will someday expire.
We just get to decide what we do with each breath, and I hope that we can use them to lift up humanity, lift up life, lift up this planet to a higher vibration that will someday come. It is up to us to decide how and when that is. So with that, I wish you all a New Year of connection, love, joy, and ease, as we continue Onwards and Upwards.
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